It’s frowned upon to be overly emotional. It’s expected to be proper and polite. Maybe those descriptors dont’ have quite the same meeting as they did for our parents, but they still apply. The way you act in public is much more put together than in our homes. (to my dismay)
The biggest change in public versus being at home, is the emotional restraint that we are expected to have. I admit, I have a personal rule, never to cry at work. My boss can be unthoughtful and rude but I keep it together and cry about it later. “Don’t show weakness.”
When you bottle up those feelings.. it’s often hard to find the right time to express them. You become so full inside that you are “constipated.” You are then in danger of becoming an ice queen, becoming dead inside, if you don’t learn to appropriately release your feelings or even just allow yourself to feel them.
I have a solution, and I have a tell for when I need some help. When I’m crying at commercials and the tears are welling up over every little thing; then I know that I need to release some pressure. Release the Kracken!
My Solution: Find a movie that moves me. A movie that makes me cry and helps me to release all those bottled up emotions. A few of my favorites: The Cure, Beaches, Safe Haven, Ramona and Beezus, Fried Green Tomatos, Howl’s Moving Castle, PS I love you, Sunshine Cleaning, Monuments Men… and so many more. Each of these make me cry for a different reason, but the emotional release is beautiful and much needed.
An example: Ramona and Beezus. That movie makes me cry because I can relate and feel the pain of Ramona feeling left out, alone, stranger than others. Feeling like you can’t do anything right. We all feel that from time to time. It’s ok to feel that, as long as you get back up stronger and ready to embrace being yourself. NO ONE is perfectly alike. Even idential twins have different personalities and quirks and love/hate different things. We shouldn’t ever have to feel like we are robots and the same as anyone else. Another rant for another day.
The important message here is that we continue to feel what we need to feel. That it’s a natural human necessity to release our emotions. It’s acceptable and wonderful to cleanse ourselves of the bottled up stress, sadness, frustration, and yes anger. (sometimes I find that working out is a better release for the anger and frustration. Another post for another time.) After I have completed sobbed and cried while watchign a movie, I feel amazing. I feel ight. I’m ready again to go out into the world and stand tall.
My next steps are to take a shower or bath, and get myself something luxurious to eat. Something that I might consider a treat, to spoil myself. To let my subconscious know that I’m well and it’s a healhty ritual to take care of myself and release such feelings that are sometimes looked down upon.
I implore you to take care of yourselves, even if you may feel embarressed. Self care may be the most important part of living a full and happy life. I wish this for you all.
Side note: please leave comments on thoughts and comments. Even some suggested subjects to talk about. I want to talk about all the things society doesn’t talk about. I’m finding in my 30’s that’s a great many things. There isn’t a manual for living, but information is power and if we feel like part of a community instead of standing alone, then that is incredible.